Curesearch Walk 2012

I made this video for an assignment for a class this spring. But with the curesearch walk coming up next weekend, I thought I would post it and hope that it would help inspire people to donate to the cause. Curesearch is the best orginization to donate to for childhood cancer. These kids deserve and need more. www.curesearchwalk.org/saltlakecity/aubree Join Aubrees team and walk with us, or just donate because its a great cause.

Echo results

I don't know why but I never said that Aubrees echo was good. She doesn't seem to have any damage done and has a perfect heart. The only thin that concerned me was that they thought she still had her line in, I don't know if that is scar tissue or what that means, but I don't think it's anything that I need to be concerned about.

Echo cardio gram

Aubree had an echo cardio gram done today. I was really nervous about it because the chemo could damage valves in her heart. We went in bright and early at 7 am, which I prefer, and got ready for some sedation. Thats why I like the early time if she can't eat. She was a trooper, she did everything that was asked, and it's funny cause she knows what to expect, when she was getting weighed she asked for her Cheetos, and I was sad cause she had to wait till we got to Oncology not Cardiology since that is where she was being sedated. The dr pulled out the stethoscope and she stood up tall and still for them to listen to her and held out her finger for her pulse ox, and got right up on the scale.I didn't think with her starting treatment so early that she would remember how to do all that stuff but I guess we go enough still that she remembers just what to do. Today she got a wagon ride to clinic since she had been sedated, she was to loopy still to be able to walk, and she tries but couldn't quite stay up right, so we laid her down. On the way home she threw up, this is the first time ever she has thrown up after sedation, I was on the freeway so I got to stop and let her finish and then she fell asleep. She has been asleep since and must really be out of it since its been three hours. I'm sure she will feel better when she wakes up and gets some food in her!

Potty Training

I finally decided to bite the bullet and potty train Aubree. She has been ready for awhile and peeing out of her diaper because she would pee so much at once, I have been putting her on the toilet in the morning first thing cause she would always pee out in the morning. She is doing awesome, she's only had a couple of accidents and those were when she had to poop. But she has had no accidents the past couple of days so we are on out way, I am so excited!

Update

It's been awhile since I posted here, life has been crazy with all sorts of stuff. Aubree is doing amazing, I don't even think about her cancer everyday anymore. She seems to have no effects from what happened except with her speech. She is in therapy, her comprehension is low and not where it should be. So we are working on that with her. She still won't eat much for me and prefers to drink her meals. But that has become normal and I don't push her much on it. Her speech therapist is going to start working on that, but she thinks there is something else going on with her that is making her not want to eat. It's crazy to think where we were just not even a year ago with her, she was on a feeding tube and not eating anything at all. So she is doing so much better this year.

normal???

Sometimes I think that we are normal. I am use to not being able to go to the grocery store with all my kids, at it is so nice to not have to take them all, and not going all that many places. At times we start to feel normal. We forget about what Aubree went through, we still think cancer everyday, but its normal because we have been thinking cancer everyday for a year. I do think we do go some days without thinking it, but with still having to give Aubree medication everyday, we still think about it a lot. We were getting causal of where we would take her and we enjoyed going out as a family.

It wasnt till Aundrea's recital for Kindergarten that I realized that we are not normal at all. My sister needed help at her house, and so my mom wanst able to come up at watch Aubree, so my husband and I decided that we would just take Aubree with us. I walked in and was a little uneasy, but it was all grownups and very few children. Then the school started to file in, and I started to panic. I know that some of those kids were sick, and I didnt want Aubree around them. I had a mask in my purse out of habit and I put it on fast and got up and went to the back of the room. I was disappointed to be at the back of the room because all of our pictures an video of Aundrea are not good. Aubree got a runny nose the next day and I know its because of being in the school with all those kids. So we are not feeling normal again, and are more careful of where she goes.

Thoughts

I dont know that anyone really reads this blog anymore with Aubree doing so good. But that doesnt bother me, I started this blog to help me put down my feelings. To help me deal with what our family is going through. At times, I believe, it was a way to get information out to a lot of people. With that said, tonight is a night that I am just need to write.
Tonight I learned of another child that has relapsed. I dont know them personally, but they did end treatment a month before Aubree was diagnosed. It makes me scared, my heart hurts for these people, but there is also fear for Aubree. But not only Aubree, there are so many other children that I have got to know that I think what if. I know that she will be ok, what else can I tell myself? But the what if's always sneak in, I dont know that I could do it again. I am just glad that I have so much to do, that I dont have a ton of time to think about it, but I still do.....