Monday, January 24, 2011

Almost Done

Aubree is almost done with this round of chemo. She has one dose left at 6 am and then she is done. It was a short round but it seems to have been hard on her. She is more nauseated this time, and her energy is gone. Today she would be awake for 15 to 30 minutes and then have to take nap. Some of the problem is that she is in need of blood. She will get it in the morning after her chemo. I am surprised that her numbers dropped so fast this time, she still an ANC of 1100 and her platelets are still pretty high. But they have all dropped a ton since they ran tests the first day. I dont know why but this round of chemo seems to be so much harder for me. I keep thinking about the bone marrow transplant and all that will come with that. I am very hopeful that it will work and it will be the end of the road for us with treatment. But I have been reading a lot of blogs lately and I dont know if I am reading only the blogs of people that havent survived or if not a lot of people do survive from this diagnosis. I know that its not about numbers, but its more about if Aubree's time is up here, or if she has more things that need to be done. I try not to think about these things but at times you cant help but think about them. I cant talk to people about it either, its hard to try to find the words to express yourself when these thoughts are running through your head. I just pray that Aubree will survive and that we will be able to watch her grow!

4 comments:

  1. Hi, Autumn! Just wanted to let you know that we follow your blog regularly! I'm sorry this round has been a tough one for you. I think it's perfectly normal to let the "What ifs...?" creep in, especially when dealing with AML. I still wonder if Rachel will stay cancer free. Here's hoping we both get to see our daughters beat AML...for good!

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  2. I'm sorry that you can't talk about things that you feel you need to. I have no idea what to say either. Just that we think about you guys ALL THE TIME! <3 <3 <3

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  3. The emotional roller coaster of cancer is so difficult. It is so hard to know if what you are doing is going to prolong the life of your child. It just isn't fair that any of us have to go through this. I hope that tomorrow brings a better day. It is always better to get off chemo and stop having the nurses bugging your kid every 2 hours for diaper changes, and the AWFUL eye drops. They are the worst. Erin had a few rashes and small fevers on the 3rd round of chemo too. You can make it. You can do it!

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  4. Thinking of you all the time and hoping that little Aubree can continue to be strong through all of this. Much love! ~Linds

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